Like you, sister, I have been there. You meet a guy. You find him attractive - personality-wise or looks-wise. You feel a connection. You fall. You ask, is the feeling mutual? Or sometimes you already are in the relationship but you feel that something is off which makes you feel unsure whether he truly loves or just strings you along.
Sometimes, women find it hard to read men. And being naturally over thinkers, women ascribe meaning to everything that the guy we fancy says or does. But sometimes, it's really not that hard to tell if a man loves a woman. Women just over think a lot of stuff and overlook or deny what is often obvious.
Based on my observations, what I've heard from gurus/coaches, and best of all, my experience, here are the best signs that this guy you fancy loves you.
1. He spends quality time with you - He will want to spend time with you. And not just his spare time, but quality time. He will find a way to spend as much time as he can with. And he won't just want this to hook up with you, but because he just loves spending time with you, be it on a trip somewhere, the library, watching movies at your house, hiking, jogging at the park, doing assignments (school or work) together, over meals, etc. He will want to do stuff with you because he loves having you around and being around you.
2. He respects you - A man who truly loves a woman respects her. He respects her opinions. He doesn't insult her. He respects her sexuality and doesn't force himself to her. He doesn't call her names. He respects her personal space.
3. You're not a secret he keeps - He will introduce you to his friends and family. He will invite you to family gatherings or meetups with friends. Hew will let everyone know that you are someone special to him. Never mind being FB official because some guys just don't dig that. But if after more than a month of dating and you haven't met of his friends or family, let that be a big red flag. He is either a) not into you; b) not serious about you; or worse, c) he has another girlfriend.
4. He says so and follows through on his words - A lot of women (and men) have been fooled and misled by the words "I love you." Of course, it's a nice thing to hear the man you love says he loves you also. But does his actions speak - even screams - that he loves you? It's not the promises that he say counts the most, but it's the small, even mundane, actions he does that tell you obviously he loves you.
- Does he come to meet your friends and family.
- Does he keep his promises as much as he can? (This should have a leeway depending on circumstances, hence I didn't use always.)
- Does he do his best to help you especially when you need it the most?
- Does he not tolerate your misconceptions and wrong actions, instead helps you be a better person?
- Does he bring out the best in you?
5. You won't be reading this blog - And other articles like this, because you just know. It's very obvious in what he says and does that he loves you. You won't be confused about how he feels about you, because it's clearer than the light of day that he loves you and is in love with you. If you are asking the question 'does he love you', most likely he doesn't love you or is not in love with you. He probably likes you, but like is not love. He probably only has a crush on you and wants to get in your pants.
My final word. Girl, open your eyes and keep a level head. Don't let the morsels of attention and the flowery words he showers you deceive you. When you see red flags, beware. And remember, not all men are the same. There are jerks, but there are lots of respectful, sincere, and worthwhile men out there who are worth more your time than a man who plays with your emotions and keeps you on the edge and guessing. You just need to open your eyes and yourself and stop thinking about prince charming and that cute badass guy you fancy.
I hope this helps. :)
